March 18, 2011

Potty Pressure

My oldest daughter, Cate, will be 3 in June. She is so smart and bright and is constantly surprising me with the way she presents an argument, negotiates and accepts compromises. I am so proud of all that she has accomplished in her almost three years. With all of that, I am dumbfounded at the fact that she is still not potty trained.

I started training her last summer. I had heard from a cousin who was a nanny in Europe for many years that what they do is take a week off work after the child turns 2 and "gets it done".

So that's what we did.

Hubby and I took a week off at the beginning of August to renovate Cate's new big girl room and thought this would be a perfect time to train. We took off the diaper and off we went.

Well that didn't last.

Cate would come toddling back to the room with wet underwear... and now the hunt was on to find the pee! Not my idea of a vacation. After Day 3 of cleaning up so-called "accidents", we gave up and put it off for another day.

In the fall, I signed her up for preschool set to start in the spring. The caveat was that she had to be potty trained. No problem, I thought, that is still months away. She's a smart girl, we'll get there. So, we tried again one weekend every month... Still no luck. We tried another week at Christmas, it started coming together, and then quickly fell apart. Since then we have been trying every day. We used the sticker chart, the jelly beans, and most recently, a promise of a bouncy castle at her birthday party in June if she can get to the point of not needing diapers. As much as I hate to admit it, we have even resorted to the shame and sarcasm approach - somehow that we went right over her head.

As I write this, Cate is sitting on the couch next to me in a soggy diaper.

Well, today is the first day of Spring and preschool starts next week. We have officially been potty training for 8 months. Cate has reached the point of going if we ask/tell/force her to go, but will not ask to go herself. I have had people tell me that it will happen in its own time and let it be. That may be fine for some, but with the pressure of preschool approaching I refuse to let my kid be THAT kid.

Perhaps I am being just as stubborn as she is.

This whole ordeal has most certainly been one of the most frustrating experiences of my life so far - I am sure there are many more to come. It has been a true reminder that Cate is her own person and although there are few things in life that she can control - this is one of them!

I have a week left and am holding out hope for a miracle...

So please tell me, what worked for you?

1 comment:

Heather said...

Laura - you know that I have also struggled in this advice is let it go - she will do it when she is ready. Ella turned three in January and just over the last week she is fully potty trained, night and all. She is also doing #2 - this all in a week because she was physically and mentally ready. My biggest mistake, was worring about it.....let it go. She will do it I can't tell you the difference in Ella in just one week and she is over 3!!!! Reed was potty trained early but every kid is different...hope this helps.