As a married man living in a house of all women (including
the dog), I must admit I have been thinking about my increasingly disappearing
masculinity. The very fact that I am not
deeply disturbed by my wife’s blog on giving birth naturally has left me somewhat
concerned.
It is not that I would describe myself as the manliest of
men or a particularly Alpha male. I mean,
while I like most of the rugged sports like hockey or football (except MMA – I just
can’t get into that one for some reason) and always enjoy a good action movie,
I have also always appreciated the other side of things like an unusual work of
art or reading a variety of literature, with the exception of romance novels (at
least for now...). I have tried to think
of myself as someone who balances an appreciation for all that the feminine side
of the species brings to the table meanwhile maintaining a good dose of
testosterone.
I’m fully aware it’s not a competition, but with the birth
of our second daughter this past year and the passing of the only other male
presence in the house, our faithful old dog Tassie, I have definitely noticed
the balance of power has shifted. I can already see that the older our kids get,
the more things are going to sway towards female-centred activities like dance
classes, ballet, ringette, and so on.
Funny enough, the question I find
I’m asking myself is not what can I do to inject more masculinity into this
family but rather, is more along the lines of how far this is going to go and
will that even bother me?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that lots of girls
and women love watching and playing sports like hockey and football. I have been trying to convince Cate for
almost two years that she wants to play hockey.
She says she does but I think it’s kind of like when you tell the
slightly senile old man something nice just to shut him up. The conversation usually goes:
Dad: “Cate, look the Senators are on TV”
Cate: “Cool, can I go put on my pink Sens jersey”
Dad: “Sure. Cate –
are you going to start skating this year and play some Timbits hockey when you
turn 4”
Cate: “Okay….Dad – can we change the channel? I want to watch a girl show.”
I guess what it seems to be coming down to is wondering
whether this change is more related to reaching a point in my life where I can
accept the fact that the interests of my family are more important than my own
likes and dislikes. Maybe it’s not
really about masculine or feminine activities, rather, maybe it’s about wanting
to do things that I know my wife and kids are going to enjoy and trying not to
assign a gender.
I know society went through that whole metrosexual thing a
few years back, but I’m not sure that I’m ever going to be okay with letting my
daughters give me a makeover or paint my nails.
Further, if we decide to have another child who ends up being a girl (it’s
almost guaranteed at this point), I am still reserving the right to create some
sort of “man cave” in the basement. Overall,
I think I have come to the conclusion that I’m okay with my own increasing estrogenization.
For all the other Dads
out there living in a house of women, or Moms living in a house of
men - What do you think? How have you handled this challenge?
For the rest of you who haven’t faced this
challenge yet - is this even still a big deal in the world we live in?
P.S. This blog has been edited by a woman before being
posted.
